HEY SO WE GOT A SUPER STORM COMING UP SO ANYONE NEW TO THE NORTHEAST OR WHO MAYBE JUST MOVED OUT AND IS LIVING ALONE, LISTEN UP!

bisexualexa:

Tips for anyone new (or not!) to the Northeast, from someone who grew up in the Northeast.

• Black ice is not a myth. It is real. You can’t see it. If you drive too fast over it, you will die.
• Frostbite and hypothermia are not myths. If you go outside to take pictures of the snow, wear appropriate clothing. 
• ‘White outs’ are not myths. If it is snowing hard enough, you will lose visibility, and if you are outside and get lost, there is a very real chance you will get lost. And die. 
• Don’t drive during the blizzard. Don’t do it. Just don’t. Please.
• If you lose power, don’t get angry at the power company. Not only is it dumb because they can’t help trees falling on the lines, but if you are rude to them, they will help you last. I’m not kidding. They will literally decide to help your sector last if enough people from it are rude, because someone has to be last anyways so why not make it the assholes?
• If someone knocks on your door and says they are freezing and need somewhere to stay, do not let them inside. Give them a blanket and say they can go in your shed if you have one, but do not let them inside. 
• If you lose power and need heat, and happen to have a gas stove, boil pots of water for warmth.

That brings us to: Lily’s Quick and easy To Use Guide to Gas Stoves

Type 1: Manual gas stove

• If you have one of these, you are in luck! 
• Light the burners on top by turning the gas on with the dial (it will still work if the power is off) and quickly lighting it with matches or a lighter – quickly is important because if you wait to long too much gas will come out and when it lights you will lose your eyebrows. And maybe die.
• Find the pilot light underneath your stove; there is usually some kind of pull out drawer at the bottom and that’s where you’ll find it. Turn the oven on (again, manual stoves will still work if the power is off! The gas will come out, but there won’t be a spark). and light the pilot light with one of those really looooong matches. DO NOT USE REGULAR MATCHES OR A LIGHTER FOR THIS. There are plenty of people from the north who probably can, no problem, but if you’ve never lit a pilot light before, be careful and use a long match or you could burn your hand and maybe clothes and also maybe die.
• Because it’s a manual stove, you’ll be able to turn the oven gas off – yay!

Type 2: Digital gas stove

• So basically, do everything the same as manual, EXCEPT do not light your pilot light!!!! You will not be able to turn it off. REPEAT – DO NOT LIGHT YOUR PILOT LIGHT BECAUSE YOU WILL HAVE NO WAY TO TURN IT OFF. 
• You can still cook things on your stove top though! And boil water for heat!

Last little tips:

• If you lose power, you can flush your toilet by pouring a big bucket of water right at the center of the bowl.
• Use melted snow for water to boil and flush; save spring water for actual drinking.
• Keep your heat low.
• Put chains on your tires or ask a qualified neighbor to do it for you!
• If your neighbor has a generator, they (almost certainly) will not mind letting you use their shower. At some point in their life, they have lost power and needed a shower and maybe a neighbor let them use their shower. 
• Store refrigerated products out in the snow if you lose power.
• KEEP YOUR FUCKING PETS INSIDE. I DON’T CARE IF YOUR DOG IS A HUSKY WOLF BLEND. IF IT IS A DOMESTICATED PET IT HAS NO CLUE WHAT TO DO IN A FUCKING BLIZZARD. I DON’T CARE IF IT SMELLS LIKE WET DOGS. KEEP YOUR FUCKING PETS INSIDE.
• If for some reason you need to go out in a white out, tie a rope around your waist and to the house. Yes, it looks silly, but better silly than dead. 
• CHARGE YOUR CELL PHONE AND LAPTOP NOW. RIGHT NOW. YOU’RE PROBABLY GOING TO LOSE POWER. DON’T USE THEM UNLESS YOU HAVE TO; NO CANDY CRUSH OR 2048 SHIT.
• Yeah basically that’s all I can think of.
• oh yeah try not to die