Clara and the Doctor, co-workers, holiday party, secret crushes. What could possibly go wrong?
LOL, does anyone even remember this fic? It’s been ages! If you remember, yay, if not, have a whouffaldi secret crush holiday party au!
On AO3 here
The Doctor stood with his hand braced against the car door,
watching Clara as she ran towards the building. He called her name but she
ignored him as she shut the door with a resounding snap. He stood there for a
few minutes, debating whether or not to go after her but decided it would only
make matters worse. Sighing, he got back in the car and decided to drive home.
The night was over for him, he had held high hopes for this evening but nothing
seemed to go right.
Clara Oswald.
Rubbing his hand through his hair, the Doctor tried to
figure out why this evening had turned out so wrong.
She had been kind to him on his first day, volunteering to
show him around the office. He admired her friendly personality but could see
that many of her peers had not taken her seriously. He noted her sharp wit and
keen intelligence and made it a point to include her in discussions during
staff meetings.
That she was also very young and beautiful never occurred to
him.
At least, it shouldn’t have.
She would often try to include him in team lunches or group
outings but he always declined. He had no interest getting to know his
colleagues, save one. Clara was well
liked by everyone, she seemed to know everyone’s name and never failed to ask
after their children or spouses. It seemed that there may be one or two
colleagues that liked her a bit more than others and he usually eyed them
disdainfully as not worth her time.
He caught her once, attending a lecture of his at the
University he taught at from time to time. She had ducked her head but he knew
she was there and he could not explain the feeling in his chest. It had pleased
him, that Clara took the time to attend his lecture. She had left before he
could greet her, his disappointment hitting him harder than he had expected it
to. He didn’t understand how she had managed to become so important to him but
he found himself seeking her out in the office, carefully watching her when he
was sure she wouldn’t notice. Her laugh was readily given and he loved to hear
it, oftentimes finding that he wanted to smile simply as a result of her
laughter. He was envious of the men that floated around her, the ease with
which they could converse with her, flirt with her. It annoyed him that he
couldn’t muster up the courage to talk to her so he retreated into himself,
throwing on the persona of the standoffish Doctor. He would love to ask Clara
about her children’s books, what she was working on, did she love a particular
story. But someone like that was hard for a quiet, old man like him to know.
So all he had left was the company holiday party and that
ended up being an abject disaster.
+
He watched her walk in, dress hidden by her coat but he
thinks she is beautiful. His tie seems tighter and he wants to tear the blasted
thing off and throw it in a bin. It’s when she hands her coat to the check and
he sees her black dress that he knows he is outclassed and there is no way she
will want to spend any time with him this evening.
He has to try.
He moves closer to her and is waiting when she turns away
from the coat check. Her smile could light up a room. “Hello. I wasn’t
expecting to see you here.”
“I usually don’t like these things but I thought it would do
to make a quick showing, new guy and all. I won’t stay very long, make the
rounds and say hello.” The lies roll off his tongue as he plays at a detachment
he doesn’t feel.
He thinks she looks relieved when she comments that he will
miss the dancing and he swears there is a lightheartedness about her. He is
sure the disappointment on her face is a trick of the light. Before he can
respond, Craig and Danny, two of Clara’s work paramours slide up next to her
and he watches quietly as Craig places an arm around her waist. “Clara, save a
dance for me, yeah?”
His eyes drift over to where Craig’s hand lies casually
against Clara’s waist and he feels as if he could reach over and tear the
younger man’s arm right off. He sighs inwardly and reminds himself that this is
why he shouldn’t be here; this is the reason that she is out of his reach. It wouldn’t
occur to him to invade her space so casually and perhaps she welcomed the
younger man’s attention. He closes his eyes for a brief second, calling himself
two thousand fools and realizes that, perhaps, the night is over him.
He should not have come tonight.
He watches Clara as she smiles at Danny who has taken it
upon himself to drag Craig to the bar and when she looks back at him, he has
made his mind up. So he is taken aback when she asks him to dine with him. He
was not expecting the invitation and though it was the point of the whole
evening, the point of why he was even here, he chose to decline her invitation.
Why ruin her evening as well?
He decides its best to leave it as is and go so he nods and
chooses this moment to leave her, why drag out this awkwardness any longer?
++
He finds it more difficult to leave then he had originally
planned. His boss has cornered him, forcing him into introductions with people
he has no interest in nor have any inclination to talk to. After being roped
into escorting his boss’s sister into dinner, his heart sinks as he realizes the
impression this would give Clara, that he simply didn’t want her company.
Nothing could have been farther from the truth.
He does his best to watch Clara through the evening, watches
as she converses with various co-workers and entertains their spouses. She has
a knack for including everyone and it hits him harder that he had purposely
chose to exclude himself from her circle. He watches as she dances and drinks
her way through several hours and wishes he could bring himself to join her.
During dinner, he quietly listens to his dinner partner Susan,
as she encourages him into conversation. She is a publisher who had befriended
his boss’s wife, her conversation quiet and calming, a stark contrast to the
lively conversations that Clara held. But his eyes continued to betray his
distraction, sliding over to catch a glimpse of Clara whenever possible.
“She’s beautiful.”
Startled, he turns to face Susan and flushes. She’s watching
him watch Clara and suddenly he wishes he had never come. He starts to make his
apologies but she waves it away with a smile.
“Doctor, I get the feeling this is the last place you want
to be tonight,” she nods her head in Clara’s general direction, “but maybe
there is someone you wouldn’t mind talking to.”
“We’re co-workers, not even really in the same division.”
His response is abrupt, he knows, but wants this line of conversation to end.
“Mmmmmhmmm.” Susan presses her lips together. “Tell you
what, I am going to introduce myself to that gentleman over there and see if he
is interested in buying me a drink.”
She stands, leaning close to the Doctor, “Maybe you could
catch her while she is in-between dancing partners. Better hurry.”
She pats him on the back and moves across the room leaving
the Doctor at the table. He sighs and rubs his hand across his eyes and decides
it’s time to go. Making his way slowly towards the exit, he chances one last look
at Clara and sees that Craig has claimed her for one more dance. His lips curl
in annoyance but before he has a chance to slip out, he is pulled aside to meet
one more person. It’s a few minutes before he can extract himself and a last
glance tells him that Clara is nowhere to be found.
Sighing, he redeems his coat ticket and decides to slip out
the side entrance. He can hear conversation as he makes his way around the side
of the building and he is sure he can hear Clara’s voice. He can feel the
annoyance creep back over him, this whole evening had been a waste. He could
have spent it reading, he is completely sure that would have been entirely more
enjoyable.
But then he would have missed Clara in that black dress.
He shook his head ruefully and was almost around the corner
when he heard Clara yell. He walked in on Clara lying on the pavement, dress
torn with Craig hunched over her.
“What the hell…?” He watches as Craig loosens his grip on
Clara, rage settling over him at the sight of Clara on the ground. He puts his
hands under her arms to lift her up, offering a steading arm for her to hold.
She turns to face her rescuer and he watches as her face flushes.
This was just perfect.
“Are you all right?” He watches her as she looks at her
bleeding elbow and feels the contempt for Craig wash through him.
“Yes. No. Damn!” She hasn’t looked up at him yet.
Craig was getting to his feet, “Clara’s fine with this so
just mind your own business, Doc.”
“That’s enough! Get out of here.” His concern for Clara
outweighed his desire to kill Craig.
Craig doesn’t take the hint, his voice growing petulant,
“Clara, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought we were cool.”
“The why didn’t you stop,”
she said, furiously, “when I asked you to?”
“One little kiss,” Craig whined. “Why can’t you be a sport,
Clara? Didn’t think you would mind, you’re always smiling and flirting.”
Clara gasped in outrage but before she could say anything,
the Doctor decides to break in, his voice betraying how angry he was, “Apparently,
she does. Get out of here,” he added, “you pudding brain fool.”
Craig seemed about to argue but he turned and left them in
courtyard, mumbling under his breath.
The Doctor couldn’t decide what part of this scenario he was
angrier about. The way Craig had treated Clara or that Clara had put herself in
a situation where someone like Craig could treat her so. He avoids her eyes
while he wraps a handkerchief around her elbow and he if he tightens the knot a
tad too tightly on her arm, no one mentions it in the silence that falls
between them.
But he can’t help himself, his jealousy creeps into his
voice and he is slightly ashamed.
“And he’s not the only fool. If you didn’t want his
attentions, why bring him out here?” He regrets the words the minute they are out
of his mouth but her response that she has known him for years takes him by
surprise.
“You can’t be that naïve.” He feels the anger push the shame
aside and keeps going, “Especially in view of the signals you were giving him.”
And he really, really does not understand why he is still having this
conversation.
She stills next to him and he finally turns to look at her
properly. Her beautiful dress is torn and he can see that she has scrapped her
knee where her tights tore. She looks a bit lost and suddenly he’s tired. So
tired.
“I suppose it’s a party and all, and that’s what people do
at a party.” It’s time to go home and call this disaster of an evening over. He
sighs and runs his hands through his hair, he knew he should have stayed home.
He just knew it.
“You should just be more careful…in the future. You’re
friendly and beaut-” he hesitated. Not saying that. “You’re very friendly and
kind and people may get the wrong message.”
She’s angry and trying to calm herself, “Do you go around
dispensing free advice to everyone or am I just special?”
Whoa. Who said anything about special? Does she think that
he thinks that she’s special? No, no, no, no. No. She can’t think that. Does
she? Is she okay with that? Maybe?
“No one thinks you’re special. I don’t think you’re special.
Who says you’re special? It’s just sound advice.” That’s it, this was over. He
was going to offer her a ride home and then crawl into a hole somewhere and lay
down for a decade.
Before he could get the words out, she was turning and
walking away. He called out to her asking her to wait but she insisted that she
was fine, there were plenty of cabs. He closed his eyes for one second, why was
she so stubborn, can’t she see that he just wants to help. He runs his hand
over his face, the sooner they can leave the better.
“Why don’t you just accept my offer?”
“How do I know I’m not getting myself into something else?”
she demanded. “Going home with a strange man?”
And it hurt.
That someone like her, someone he liked very much, could
insinuate that he can do to her what Craig had earlier in the evening. He felt
a wave of nausea and stared at her in dismay, “Do you really think you’re in
any danger?”
He was done. “Come on, my car is parked on the other side of
the building. We can go this way.”
He really had nothing more to say, disappointment curling
through him mixed with hurt. He really was an old fool and this evening just
proved it. Someone like Clara was too bright, too young, too smart to even be
attracted to him, why try? He stayed silent on the drive home, listening to her
directions but not engaging her in conversation.
What was there left to say?
Finally, finally, she indicated her flat and he pulled up. “Sure
you’ll be okay?”
She nodded and was surprised when she told him that she
would wash the handkerchief and return it. He had forgotten about it and it
didn’t matter really, he just wanted her to be well. “You needn’t bother, just
take care of yourself.”
Right. So…. he should let her out, it’s what gentleman do,
yeah? He turns to open his door and starts at the gentle touch of her hand on
his arm. He stares at the hand for a moment before staring at her. What now?
“Look, things didn’t quite turn out the way I thought it
would tonight. I thought…I guess…I wanted to talk to you. I don’t know what I
thought, to be honest. I like you and I just wanted to get to know you but you
made it clear that you are not interested so I am just sorry. Sorry that you
had to drive me home, sorry about taking up so much of your time.”
Wait.
Did she just say she wanted to get to know him? That she
liked him?
Wait.
That he wasn’t interested in her?
He finds that he is at a loss for words and is struggling to
process what she says. He watches as she pulls back, hand over her mouth to
stop the runaway of words. He wants to grab her hand, keep her anchored right
where she is so he can talk to her but his brain won’t co-operate. Won’t send
the signals to grab her before it’s too late.
It’s too late.
By the time he reaches for her, he is holding onto air as
she has spun around and let herself out.
He scrambles to follow her, “Clara. Clara, wait. Please.
Just wait.”
The Doctor stood with his hand braced against the car door,
watching Clara as she ran towards the building. He called her name but she
ignored him as she shut the door with a resounding snap. He stood there for a
few minutes, debating whether or not to go after her but decided it would only
make matters worse. Sighing, he got back in the car and decided to drive home.
The night was over for him, he had held high hopes for this evening but nothing
seemed to go right.
Clara Oswald. What to do now?
say you love me 