ficlet : almost lover

melanoradrood:

prompt request: rebelcaptain kiss … #3 goodbye.

requested by: @leaiorganas

The war is over, it’s done, the base is packing up, and Jyn… she’s not sticking around. Maybe it’s because her body is beat to hell, maybe it’s because she has never had any freedom in her life, but when word comes that they’re looking for spies to serve as security detail, she’s out of there, and she’s not willing to sign onto anything else. It’s not that she has a plan as to what she’s doing… she just knows that she’s owed five years of backpay, has given her life time and again for the cause, and she wants to see something of the galaxy while not looking over her shoulder.

The only problem is… there’s something still tying her down, holding her back.

And he’s not budging.

As soon as Princess Leia Organa mentioned needing to form a New Republic, with a new Senate, with leadership from all organizations, from all planets, from all experiences… Cassian had been there, fought in the Clone Wars, had fought for the Separatists. He didn’t trust the Jedi, didn’t trust the Senate, didn’t trust the Republic, and all for good reasons. Jyn understood, why he wanted to have a hand in it, why he wanted to be in the thick of it.

The problem was, Jyn couldn’t do that. She couldn’t be like them. Her one good speech had been before Scarif, and really, that was as good as it got. On Endor, she had told them all that if they died here, they could go kark themselves… and that was really as good as it would ever get. There was no position for her on the Senate, no advisory role.

She could go to university, maybe. She had her father’s brain, her mother’s love of study and exploration… She could do something with it, maybe continue her father’s work, maybe… Except she would grow bored, probably. Or maybe not, expect she had never been good at sitting on her hands. Even now, she still didn’t know how to sit still for long, didn’t know how to eat a meal without shoving it down her throat, didn’t know how to sleep in a soft bed…

She wasn’t meant for this new world that she had helped to save. She wasn’t supposed to live in the galaxy that she had helped protect. She was supposed to die out there, die somewhere, fighting for the cause, for the right thing, making a difference. There was no where out there for her, not now.

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