Parka (The Only Thing She Had Left) – Chapter 8

sleepykalena:

Another update for @captainandors‘ May 4th Exchange fic!

Jyn continues to deal with the loss of Cassian the day after.

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Her hands began to tremble at Bodhi’s offer, and part of her wanted to reach out and accept it, to lean on his shoulder and cry. But just before she could think about writing a message to that effect, the more vulnerable part of her snapped at her: You cried alone when your parents left.

It’s safer to cry alone when you can.

But, another part of her reasoned, you cried when you saw Papa on the holo at Jedha, and again at Eadu- both times, you weren’t alone.

It was true- Cassian had witnessed her at her near-worst, despite having just barely met. He was there when she cried, and that, she argued, wasn’t so bad.

Cassian isn’t here anymore, though.

It would have been inaccurate to say, in this moment, that Jyn was alone. She had the rest of her family around her, Bodhi being among them. But with Cassian dead, his absence further highlighted just how close Jyn held him to her heart. He’d become her primary pillar of support.

That pillar of support was gone now- it had crumbled and burnt down to ashes before being blown away by the winds of whatever unforgiving planet he and Melshi were on for their assignment.

She wasn’t alone, but she certainly felt alone.

And, right now, all she wanted was to be alone.

[read the rest on ao3!]

Parka (The Only Thing She Had Left) – Chapter 8