I found that word!! Have a snippet from a Cassian POV flip of “a little too much”
If there is one single human being on this base that Cassian can’t stand it’s that smuggler, Han Solo.
A so called hero of the Rebellion, who stepped in to help the Jedi at the last minute after waffling over his own moral code. Cassian thinks he might hate him and he tells himself it’s not because of his closeness with Jyn (it’s not). He hates his ambiguity, he hates how uncommitted he comes across, he hates his derision of authority. He tells himself he doesn’t hate that Jyn seems so calm with him, he doesn’t hate that they have an easy, light and natural relationship (one that he dreams of having with her), and he certainly doesn’t hate how they are always (always) together. No, it’s none of those reasons at all.
Send me a word, if it’s in my wip document I’ll answer your ask with the sentence that it appears in
say you love me 