ooh from the kiss prompt list, #21? (on a place of insecurity)

leaiorganas:

Rebelcaptain Fic – it’s a single vowel in this metallic silence; 1,116 words, light angst

Thank you so much for the prompt, of course after I wrote it I realized it was ON a place of insecurity and not FROM, lol. Sorry, tho!

She wants to understand him
but thinks that she might never will. She knows that in the year since Scarif,
he has remained an enigma, a puzzle that she cannot solve. He is friendly yet
distant; cold but exudes warmth in moments when he believes no one is looking.

But she is always looking.

She had not known what to
expect after Scarif but had decided to stay once she understood that this could
be a home, that she could fight for something she believed in. She has Bodhi,
and Baze, and Chirrut and she tells herself that this is enough, that they are
part of this home that she is building for herself. But she knows the piece
that’s missing is Cassian and wants him to be a part of this home she’s
creating. She doesn’t know how to draw him closer, how to bring him completely into
their fold. He holds himself back; sliding in and out of their lives the way he
moves through shadows. Their conversations are about nothing and everything and
it frustrates her to see him hold back.

So, the afternoon he
approached her the first time and asked her to have drinks that evening in the
cantina took her completely by surprise and she hesitated, so unsure of his
sincerity; insecure of his motives.

Turns out she had a reason to not believe in him.

See the rest on AO3