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Cassian Andor had just watched everything he loved- everything he cared about, all he’d given his life for- crushed into remnants of their previous selves.
The back of his throat burned with unvoiced emotions, a stony expression set determinedly on his face. He was hardly the only one grieving today. He was a seasoned agent, Draven’s longest-lasting asset; if anybody was expected to keep a straight face today, to set an example on how a rebel ought to act in the face of defeat- it was him.
Cassian didn’t think he’d miss Hoth. But it would certainly be a challenge to build their rebellion from scratch, to come back up from square one, to compensate for all the lost lives and resources.
He didn’t even know who had made it out alive.
Away from the view of the intelligence agents hastily loaded into a shuttle as a priority evacuation group, Cassian turned the rough-cut kyber crystal over in his palms and kept his breathing even. Jyn taking the precious token off her neck, pressing it into his hands, telling him to wait for her on the other side. The fleeting kiss she’d given him before dodging off in the opposite direction, to do her assigned duty as a Pathfinder– it was all too kriffing much.
He didn’t know what he’d do if he lost the rebellion and his fire of hope in the same day.
The shuttle finally made its way back to the mothership, an imposing Mon Cala vessel they were calling Home I. He went through the arrival procedures mechanically. Registered himself alive on a colum that was plastered alongside an equally lengthy one of those confirmed dead. His stomach churned. He didn’t read past the first three names.
They were given a briefing. It was as macabre as everything else. Cassian wanted nothing more than to retire to the quarters assigned to him and throw a fist against the wall.
Jyn’s crystal had made deep indents in the skin of his palms. He didn’t know her status and he couldn’t bear to learn the truth on his own, not today. Not if that truth turned out to be what he feared most.
Cassian faltered in his stride towards his quarters. Someone was waiting for him.
Jyn’s expression dissolved from a pensive frown to a look of immense relief that instantly stole years of hardship from the creases around her eyes, and she crossed the distance before he could process this.
Jyn’s hands at the back of his head, pulling him into a passionate crash of her lips against his, and all Cassian could do was stand in stunned silence, overwhelmed by everything he felt in that moment.
Just as he was starting to get over it, applying the slightest amount of pressure in turn, Jyn pulled away, slowly. Her eyes drifted up to his, before her brow furrowed, and she gazed back down at his lips. “I’m sorry, are you sure–”
Cassian grasped her face in his hands and kissed her, with more conviction, more certainty that this was real and it was happening and Jyn was alive, his flame of hope, his partner, friend, his someday, if they made it out of this war alive and she wanted him.
And when he finally pulled back, the two of them breathing unevenly and shuddering with unexpressed sentiments held back for fear of their grim reality, Cassian let slip a truth that he only felt the courage for now.
And Jyn murmured the three words back to him against his lips.
from Tumblr https://leaiorganas.tumblr.com/post/189142323617
say you love me 